Story through words..

Came across these two videos that are really touching...and it goes to show..you can share God's word in every aspect and in every way.

Third Man







My name is Alex I'm a mastermind
Nobody will ever stop me on this path of mine
I got this house mapped out with the date of time
So I showed the map to Benny whose a friend of mine
We'll get the rope and the mask and knives
Benny's eyes going crazy done this many times
But this time yo look check it, no one dies
Use the knives just to scare cause you realize
The government they want us dead so they can come
Understand if they come than we'll run
Yo this is our last one understand
But yo focus on this, we leave as one
Than we sneak, we'll dream about the money
All the people that we killed Alex, wasn't funny

But than I lie to myself... I lie to myself

"Benny what we're going to do, is I know this house down the street.
Around 3 A.M. the people are going to leave, theres going to be no one
in the house. I heard they're rich. We're going to go in, take the
stuff, and leave. But yo! Don't kill anyone this time man, don't kill
anyone this time. We'll scare, we'll use the weapons to scare them,
okay okay, but no one dies okay? So now we creep... you ready?
Lets go!"

I'm so nervous so I shift the lock
As I watch benny use his knife to pick the lock
We open the door, we enter now
Everybody asleep so we settle down
You get the man, I'll check the women
You get the golden jewlery
I'll get the silk and linen
Adrenaline keeping my heart pounding
But thats when I see the soldiers and we're both surrounded
No!
And now it's over now.
I try to run but the three of them just hold me down
I see Benny screaming at the men
We tried to move but no one budged
Now we're standing in front of the judge
Reading a list of everything we did
Telling us both we had a day to live

"Benny I'm so sorry man... I don't want to die man, I DON'T WANT TO
DIE MAN... I'm so sorry"

I'm so scared as I'm walking now
Domecus holding his cross and its so awful now
I sinned day to day
For the first time I start to pray
I see Benny holding his cross
He's so scared I can read his eyes
Than he turns to me "Yo we're going to die!"
Than I realize theres another guy
He drops his cross and he picks it up
Than they beat him down to the ground with sticks and clubs
Throwing rocks
How can they do this to a human being
In my mind I'm just wondering
What has he done that is so harsh for a punishment
And than I see a little girl by her fathers arm
Crying, "Dad he did nothing wrong"
They lay us down and I start to cry
I feel the blood and I start to die
I'm so scared and I want to live
God, sorry for the things I did
I see Benny screaming at the men
"Yo, if you're the king why don't you show us then!"
But then I turn with all my energy
"Excuse me, please remember me... Please remember me"




Scarred




i’ve been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember the killed.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i saw wasn’t real.

i don’t want to rap about this topic anymore.
many of you think i’m using this because i’m bored.
many of you think i’m using them just to appeal.
i’m just asking you, if i don’t speak for them, who will?

time is such a scary thing, i’ve become so calloused.
spent a night with them, i realize my home’s a palace.
spent a day with them, i realized i have it good.
even though i know this, i don’t live the way i should.

i was bitten by a bug, living in that area…
later on i found out i’m carrying malaria.
no i didn’t curse Him, but thanked Him for my role.
cuz now i got their suffering just tatted on my soul.

till the day i die, i will understand their pain.
depending on my God, like a farmer is with rain.
relying on my Lord, my one and only team…
the hardest thing to give up: is my one and only dream.

living in a world where evil is now good.
things i couldn’t do, i realize that i now could.
at times i find myself just screaming at His face,
if i’m not allowed, why tease me with this taste.

and every single time i just feel like letting go.
i remember all the people who believe me at my shows.
think about the power in the decisions i choose.
power to confuse or to introduce them You.

i’ve been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember the killed.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i saw wasn’t real.

i don’t want to rap about this topic anymore.
many of you think i’m using this because i’m bored.
many of you think i’m using them just to appeal.
i’m just asking you, if i don’t speak for them, who will?

under stand i never asked for this position.
sword is getting heavy and it seems like no one listens.
cuts my own flesh but you see i give it more.
my soul is in a state of a moral civil war.

and as i keep on growing so does the army of hate.
who wait for every slip and reason to call me fake.
to the panel of judges: i admit i can’t handle you.
i just hope with every fall, i just become more tangible.

i’m another boy, another son, another man.
i failed yesterday and will fail today again.
i repeat this, to all of those you don’t get it.
if i’m not LYRICKS then why give me the credit.

i don’t want your props or your daps for my flows.
i just hope my raps will just act as sign posts.
i know i’m not as flashy or as attractive.
but at the end of the day, it’s what my tracks DID.

did i show you life or rap about death.
just to be in light did i sacrifice breath
for the riches of the world, did i compromise love.
for the beauty of her face, what did i give up

of course there are times i just wish that i was free.
just to live in today’s definition of free.
want to be rebellious, reppin up the fist.
life would be easy so believing you don’t exist.

i’ve been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember You’re real.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i feel isn’t real.

i don’t want to rap about You anymore.
many of them think i’m using You because i’m bored.
many of them think i’m using You just to appeal.
i’m just asking if you, if i don’t remind them, who will?

Friendship?

The term friendship is undoubtedly one of the most valued and essential aspects of almost every individual that lives and breathes. Of course there are those who choose to stay enclosed in the 4 walls of there room and refuse to interact with the world and there are others who only use others for their own gain....and only mesh together for the superficial aspects of friendship. What defines friendship? or an acquaintance? and how do you differentiate the two? How can you tell if someone is real in the way they deal with others or if they are just simply putting on a front for everyone to see? Friendship my friend, cannot be bought. Words are merely words. Compliments fade. If one sits there whole lifetime waiting for someone to accept them...then no offense you are wasting your time. Friendships need to be real....knowing when to blatantly insult each other when it is needed..and knowing when to stop. Friendship is more then.."wsup"..or a "how've you been"....it is knowing what is up and "how i've been"...and putting yourself out there to really understand each other to the fullest extent. Friendship is being able to sometimes say close to nothing...and still understand each other. Friendship is knowing that you can build each other up through the Word of God..or having insightful discussions. Friendship is knowing that even when contact is temporary lost...it can be rekindled in mere moments. Friendship can be simply just a smile that can warm each another's hearts. I'll bluntly admit that I've more than once in my life try to buy someone's friendship with words and deeds...but as previously stated...this is just superficial. People don't wanna only hear what sounds good...they want to hear the truth. Just like with Jesus...he needn't and shouldn't buy our time...or need we buy his....he wholeheartedly cares and loves us...flaws and all...and we should be wise enough to realize what a great blessing that is..and attempt (though we will never be able to) return the same love He gave us. Friendship is more than constant cliche's such as"BFF" or "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"..it's knowing that you love each other and have the potential to be best friends for life..without having to say it all the time. Friendship is pure. beautiful. valuable. Friendship is what you make the most of it.

Your amiga,
Natalie

I'm sick.

I'm sick of always selling myself short. I'm sick of having others validate what I am worth. I'm sick of always being the one who cares more. I am sick of only knowing how to smile in every circumstance. I'm sick of failing. I'm sick of falling for boys. I'm sick of guys playing with girl's emotions. I'm sick of bottling my emotions. I'm sick of not being able to cry. I'm sick of being compared to others. I'm sick of no one truly understanding me. I'm sick of no one being able to tell that there is something wrong with me. I'm sick of only knowing how to respond with "nothing" when someone does ask what is wrong with me. I'm sick of being passive. I'm sick of being negative. I'm sick of being positive. I'm sick of contradicting myself. I'm sick of being over-analytical. I'm sick of thinking too much. I'm sick of waiting for someone to ask me how I am. I'm sick of always being happy externally. I'm sick of no one taking me seriously. I'm sick of judging others. I'm sick of being prideful. I'm sick of being confident and insecure at the same time. I'm sick of being inarticulate. I'm sick of being mediocre. I'm sick of being timid. I'm sick of knowing that the reason that I'm writing this is for you guys to understand. I'm sick of knowing that after writing this, my mood will probably change. I'm sick of knowing what I write on here is only temporary. I'm sick of being sick. I'm sick of being vulnerable. I'm sick of being sensitive. I'm sick of having mood swings. I'm sick of not meaning everything I say on here.

Maybe I'm not sick.

Maybe I just needed to let out all the things that go through my head on a daily basis.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah.

oh the joy of youth.

I found my 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade journal! It's just funny to reflect on how naive I was, and how silly kids often think and act when they are young.

Here are some of my favorite entries:

9-22-99

I'm a crazy girl. And I only have 11 Pokemon cards. I wishded that I had more but it's OK because I don't want to get my mom mad

10-24-99

You know what now, my mom's baby is fat like a pig and we had a deal that when my mom has a baby or longer we will see who could get on diet. But I know that my mom's going to be fat after the baby is born. I saw her eat a lot of sweet stuff yesterday,

1-24-00

I'm afraid of the dark! I mean when all the lights are off

1-25-00

Today this guy said "Hey your cute want to be my girlfriend" to me. But I don't like him

1-31-00

I like Teletubies and it's a baby show.

2-24-00

Dear Diary, I don't like the school bell

2-29-00

Landon called me Fatalie.

3-2-00

Michael picks his boogers and puts them in his mouth

3-20-00

I still watch Barney

4-2-00

I watched T.V. yesterday even though that's it's no TV week. And I'm going to do the same thing today.

5-2-00

I eat alot of junk food that's why I weigh 60 pounds.

8-13-00

Today I ate hot flamin' cheetos and I went poo poo it was red.


AHAHHA. I want to be 7 again!